Sorry to bother you...but what is microaggression?

Last night, I went to a panel about personal branding and received an unexpected lesson instead. I usually don't attend these sort of events as I am highly critical of startup culture but there was free food, the topic piqued my interest, and the panel featured mostly POC women. So I went alone, repeating aloud to myself, "It's okay to feel scared," on the drive there. 

The space was nice, the food and drink delicious, the vibe weird as fuck. The moderator of the panel--let's call her Jane--was a young, white woman with a low, husky voice who introduced the panelists from a fully lounging position, matter-of-factly purring after each introduction that each panelist was indeed "simply amazing." Jane's devil-may-care attempt at chic felt disconcerting in contrast to the sincerity of the accomplished panelists. 

Moderator Jane introduced the last panelist, a black woman in her 40s named Meshell, who went from incarcerated teen to international speaker, who *truly* was amazing and insightful. Moderator Jane commented that Meshell was "the most positive person you will ever meet." To support her assertion, Jane recounted a conversation between herself and Nora, her also early-twenties white friend, who waved and laughed from across the room. 

Jane laughed, "Yeah, Nora and I were joking about how nice Meshell is like OMG, she is sooo sweet, can I just have her? Can I like, just take her home? Can I have her? I just want her around forever."

I full-body cringed; I peered at the people sitting near me. Did anyone else hear that comment? Talking about "having" anyone is bizarre enough, but especially so when discussing a woman twice your age who is a member of a minority historically oppressed, and at one time not too long ago "owned," by a white overculture.

I realized I'd felt the same feeling just the night before, watching Sorry To Bother You, a movie I absolutely recommend. In the movie, Kate Berlant's character, Diana DeBauchery, condescendingly "encourages" protagonist Cassius Green, a telemarketer who discovers success by using his "white voice" instead of his normal voice as a black man from Oakland.

DeBauchery's entire persona clearly drips with racist and classist assumptions about Cassius's intellect and inner experience but she is also desperately trying to seem approachable, cool and successful to her "underlings."

The result is that she can only interact with those she unconsciously views as "lesser than" through microaggressions.

What is a microaggression? Webster defines a microaggression as  "a statement, action, or incident" that is "indirect, subtle, or unintentional discrimination against members of a marginalized group such as a racial or ethnic minority." I'll add any marginalized minority.

Diana DeBauchery perfectly illustrates blind microaggression as she alternates between her patronizing, saccharine support of Cassius and her dripping lust directed towards him after his promotion, a desire which reeks of the classic powerful-black-man-as-animalistic-sex-fantasy-projection trope.

What comes forth is a cringeworthy and compelling take on the indirect and systemic upholding of racist thought in America. While DeBauchery is so clearly a harsh satire, Moderator Jane's comment is nonfiction. I'm certain her intent was not malicious but her comment is, at best, the cultural tone-deafness of unexamined privilege. At worst, her comment is one more dreadful stitch in the fabric of oppression that is held in place by a collective habit of ignorance.

Remember that (social) media circus of white folks who got really into "punching Nazis in the face?"

Not only does this attitude serve to perpetuate the hierarchical and violent tendencies that create racist ideologues in the first place, but the focus of anger towards a small, strangely-media-platformed group of Nazis was an easy alternative from the harder work of turning inward to honestly reflect upon and dismantle one's own subtle but embedded racism.

The more we focus on "them," the less bandwidth we possess to heal our own fear.

Regular aggression is easy to see; microaggression is  less noticeable but more widespread and instrumental in sustaining oppression.

Where do you perpetuate microaggressions? 

I once had the startling realization that I was regularly microaggressive towards a genderqueer roommate because I was afraid to mess up their pronouns, so I would rarely look them in the eye and I avoided mentioning them at all. Once I got honest with myself about this unexamined aspect of my inner world, I was able to be emotionally intimate with my roommate and they became a dear friend of mine.

It is hard for me to say, because I want to be perceived as "good" and "with it," but I am still actively working to shine light on any remnants of a buried belief that gender-queerness is associated with psycho-emotional inferiority. Sure, I can blame my religious upbringing but I am an adult wanting to spread love into the world and that starts with loving and integrating all parts of myself, even this unsavory part that I reveal to you now. 

Moderator Jane went on to make a few other questionable remarks; I left feedback directly addressing these remarks and then had some self-doubt. Am I an angry, nit-picking, bleeding heart? After some reflection, I affirmed the idea that we can do better and we should do better.

The way to hold someone accountable with integrity is to first hold ourselves accountable. 

What about you? Do any of your own fears or microaggressions towards others come to mind? Are you engaged in this sometimes deeply uncomfortable process of self-reflection? Unconvering our own microaggressions is the first step to neutralizing violence we unconsciously perpetuate. 

In the second module of my online course, Amphora, we will be discussing a multitude of factors present when holding space for others; one of those is cultural sensitivity: a reflective and compassionate upturning of microagressions, as a natural outpouring of one's inner work. 

Eclipse season is a perfect time to lovingly do this shadow work. If you would like to join Amphora or learn more about the process of healing the Self to hold space for others please click here. 

Won't you join me on this journey of self-discovery? This course will be offered in the future for $200+ but this time around it is only $75. I ask you to join me if you are in a psychospiritual healing practice or about to enter into one, because this course will prepare you and support you through the transition of discovering your unique medicine. 

I love you, sweet reader,

Elise 

Our Inner Child and Individuation: What Mister Rogers can teach us about healing

There seems to be a misunderstanding about the term "individuation:" that it is some sort of destination of perfection or enlightenment.  But Jung defined it differently: 

I will try to explain the term “individuation” as simply as possible.
By it I mean the psychological process
that makes of a human being
an “individual”--a unique, indivisible unit or “whole [wo]man.”

Individuation refers to separating one's self from the outward expectations or socialized "shoulds" of their life. I think when we talk about our Spirit Guides, our Higher Self, Spirit, we are referring to a our Divinity that propels us toward individuation. 

When I think of folks who I consider individuated, I think of people who are so aligned in their will, so certain of their purpose, so connected with their own essence, that nothing, not even death, would stop them from doing the work they were born to do. I often think of Civil Rights activists like Stokely Carmichael or Angela Davis or Martin Luther King, Jr.

I might think of Jung himself, who was so compelled to understand the human spirit, he almost lost himself in the depths of a prolonged psychosis. These people are different expressions of the same energetic propulsion. And, after watching the new doc, I think of Mister Rogers.
 
Individuation is not that you are "above" normative human struggles. There is nothing transcendent about it, really. Though Mister Rogers struggled with a profound self-doubt and the desire to be accepted, even until he died, he was still able to become most fully himself. And by being fully his own person, he touched many more than he could possibly imagine. 

Jung also says: 

“What is it, in the end, that induces a man to go his own way and to rise out of unconscious identity with the mass as out of a swathing mist?

It is what is commonly called vocation: an irrational factor that destines a man to emancipate himself from the herd and from its well-worn paths. … Anyone with a vocation hears the voice of the inner man: he is called.”

Towards what are you being called?
What is the fullest expression of yourself?
If you do not know yet, ask to know.
I must warn you, it could radically alter your path.

We are all called toward something, but often the outside gets in our way: what we "should" do or become, what our parents expect, what our culture says is valuable, what has happened to us. Sometimes, our essential truth is standing in direct opposition to the messages we've received our entire lives. Mister Roger's was supposed to become a pastor but something else stirred him.

I know for certain by pulling that thread of passion, you will inevitably be guided toward that work which is healing for you.

When you prioritize your own healing,
you prioritize the healing of the entire world.
We are inseparable. 

Mister Rogers is an example of privilege in action. He put himself and his livelihood on the line by addressing all manners of oppression on his show: he took a stand against racism, against the lie that we should suppress our feelings, against the idea that children cannot or should not understand death and other complexities, against what a toxic culture says masculinity should look like. The rumors that he was a closeted gay man or an army sniper tried to undercut the idea that a heteronormative man could just be this way, authentically peaceful. He did not get out untouched, he was made fun of sometimes in vile ways that hit on the very childhood wound with which he struggled. 

Nonetheless, his show gave voice to his Inner Child. The tiny child that holds our deepest longings, struggles and fears; the same tiny child that holds the key to our creativities, our passions and our integration. 

The most potent healing practices acknowledge and soothe our Inner Child, allowing ourselves to experience the vulnerability of all the feelings we were not able to process as a child. Some of us have more to process than others, but no one escapes childhood unscathed. 

When we begin to feel through our feelings, our healing removes the blocks to individuation. We become less swayed by what we are told is important and we reconnect with our true values and our true voice. We develop an unshakeable courage and a unified will. 

I am only able to write these emails because I take on the frightening challenge of facing the depths of my own emotions regularly. It is hard work. 

When you process through your own traumas and disappointments, you cannot help but see how to love better everything around you. As you accept yourself with love and compassion, in your entirety, you see how to accept others who may have seemed disgusting to you before. When you see yourself with clarity and total self-awareness, how you have a little fascist dictator that lives in your own psyche, so you can begin to imagine how our world rulers might be overly identified with that aspect of themselves.

Self-righteousness and judgement render us ineffective
to change or heal the suffering around us. 

Forgive yourself. Set yourself free.
When you are free from judgement towards yourself,
you can fight injustice without judgement. 

As Mister Rogers showed us when he testified before Congress with bewildering vulnerability, calling people into love is always the most effective way to disarm hate, and to change our collective trajectory. Judgment would not have worked in that situation. You and I would not have had the daily delight of Mister Rogers' Neighborhood or any PBS program, for that matter, if Fred had decided to be a "normal" man and rely on domination tactics.

Thank you, Fred, for taking the risk of embodying the vulnerability of your Inner Child. My life and work is profoundly and utterly shaped by the hope and dignity you offered to me day after day as a five year old.

Returning to that five year old turned out to be the missing key between me and my voice.

Much love,
Elise

Resources for Learning Tarot

Our psyche can function as though space did not exist. The psyche can thus be independent of space, of time, and of causality. This explains the possibility of magic. ~C. G. Jung

For everyone:

78 Degrees of Wisdom: A Book of Tarot
by Rachel Pollack

A classic, insightful Tarot book that focuses on the psychological resonance of each card. Pollack includes important historical context and frameworks for understanding the cards. Almost every Tarot reader I know and love has this book. If you can only afford to buy one book, start with this one. 

Holistic Tarot: An Integrative Approach to Using Tarot for Personal Growth
by Benebel Wen 

In the style of a reference book, Holistic Tarot gives more than an interpretation to each card. Wen denotes the planetary, elemental and numerological associations with each card; section include spreads for reading, how to begin reading for others, how to interpret cards for different topics, and the patterns in the court cards. I return to this resource over and over again.

The Tarot Court Cards: Archetypal Patterns of Relationship in the Minor Arcana
by Kate Warwick-Smith 

This book allowed me to understand the court cards in a whole new way; though I knew what the cards meant, I was intimidated to interpret the meanings in spreads. This book gave me a framework to approach these incredibly useful energies and archetypes. 

Tarot for Yourself: A Workbook for Personal Transformation
by Mary K. Greer 

A workbook that frames the understanding of Tarot through your own personal numerology and life path. While I find some of the interpretations of the cards less resonant than other books, I nonetheless learned so much from the workbook part of the book, in which I discovered my life card is The Chariot. It helped me to contextualize some of the repeating lessons in my current embodiment and have more compassion on my journey. 

For intermediate to advanced readers:

The Way of the Tarot: The Spiritual Teacher in the Cards
by Alejandro Jodorowsky

This book is based on the Marseille Tarot so the interpretations may not be as resonant with your deck, however, I learned much about the Tarot as a whole. Jodorowsky lays out some beautiful mandala spreads through which to understand and interpret the Tarot as an entire body of work. The numerology sections deepened my understanding as well as his ability to isolate and describe really specific details and symbols of each card. Understanding the Marseille is a wonderful exercise in understanding symbolism in general. 

The Tarot: A Key to the Wisdom of the Ages
by Paul Foster Case

An in-depth occult look at the cards from a perspective that invites the deeper mysteries of symbolism, especially through Kabbalah and ancient mysticism. This book is smaller than others but far more dense. Even just reading through the Fool description blew my mind and helped me understand Uranus, the symbol of the bull and cattle, and the card itself, much more deeply. If you feel like other books are boring you or are too light, try this one for a new esoteric understanding. 

Are there any resources you love that I should add?

JULY MEDICINE: Holding Beauty and Shame in a Complex Time

The two of wands is an invitation and a passage; we both create and receive the reality we find ourselves in and if you are reading this, you most likely stand on a firm foundation of privilege and possibility from which you can navigate toward anywhere or anything.

You may be tempted to stay in this comfort, but
You, Intrepid Soul, are called to a depth of richness you have only glimpsed.

Yes, this path is tumultuous and challenging and yes, you can trust the path anyway.
Step out from the safety of nonchalance or nihilism and step into your own power.
Heed the call to get radically uncomfortable.

Enter King of Cups: the master of steadily holding emotional nuance; we embody the King when we engage and hold our multiple truths without judgment. Currently, this is our collective duty, to hold all of these circumstances and courageously see ourselves in them.

Here is a not-fun exercise. Can you hold at the same time the following truths:

(1) our individual and collective complicity with violence that is subtly woven into most media

(2) our long-time culturally-sanctioned denial of state-sanctioned atrocities (Kids being separated from their mothers is BEYOND HORRIFYING but we didn't arrive here without a road paved by many previous administrations. Family detention began during the Bush era and blossomed under Obama, through which many of us remained uninformed and silent. Hard. To. Swallow. Xenophobia is tradition. Google the history of immigration in America.)

(3) the complexity of living in systems created by corporatocracy and the difficulty inherent in the divestment of these systems (like who doesn't work a job that creates environmental waste? Not me. Who can live in a place without effective public transit without a car? Not me. Who smokes weed freely while black women my age sit in jail for possession of much less weed? Me. Who orders to-go food when they are stressed out and creates waste? Me. I am complicit, willfully or not, so it can be hard to contemplate, much less talk about).

(4) the degree that we hate a person like Trump is the same degree in which hate exists in our own lives. How you hate Trump is how you deny your own complicity. Trump is the American shadow personified. Have you made peace with your own tendency toward scarcity? Are you offended easily? Do you want to win and gloat over the other political party? Do you fervently hate a particularly unsavory group of people (like rapists? racists? cops? cop-killers? Nazis? establishment politicians? bankers? etc.)? Should we round them up into camps and make them pay? <<That's a dark joke, but seriously, the fervor of our hate can indicate an unwillingness to self-reflect on the parts of ourselves that we do not want to admit exist, like the part that dehumanizes those we perceive to be wrong. We all have our own inner fascist that needs forgiving. We all can accidentally perpetuate violence by how we talk about those in opposition. What is truly radical is to continue to acknowledge the other side's humanity while adamantly standing against their hate. Anger is not the problem, fear is. Fear begets more hate. 

(5) the possibility of standing up boldly and bravely for justice, for peace, for children, for those suffering requires a dismantling of our own tendencies toward domination and hierarchy, in our neighborhoods, in our families, in ourselves, in our minds and speech. Humans also dominate the earth under the illusion we are separate from Her systems and not a part of Her.

(6) Where there is privilege, there is oppression. You and I are not immune to being the oppressor, racially, economically, or globally. Slavery makes most of our clothes, our chocolate, our computers, our porn, our plastic things, our food. 

(7) our desire to create change requires self-examination, sober clarity, and ultimately a compassionate softness to ourselves first. This state of self-acceptance and inner harmony flows out to others. We embody our own medicine.

The list goes on and on...there are so many complexities to hold and behold. The King represents being strong enough to see it all and feel it all and stay present anyway. 
The King sees and feels the world from a zoomed-out perspective; she does not crawl back into bed, nor does she act compulsively. She resides. She connects to her inner experience. She rides the wave of emotion. She chooses trust.

Meeting our feelings of shame
with honesty, curiosity, and compassion
creates the space and strength necessary
to dismantle our personal contribution
to the mess we are in.

When we make space for ourselves, to reflect, to process, to breathe, we also make space for collective restoration. The Ace of Cups gives us a clue about how to deal with the darkness; fill your cup first with the power of gratitude, of beauty, of imagination.

How can we reconnect to the healing of imagination?
How can we create beauty in this world?
Self-care. Who even cares about talking about self-care anymore?!?
Don't we get it yet? Sometimes I do. Sometimes I don't.  

What is self-care? Self-care is a container in which we allow other distractions to fall away, and we allow ourselves to simply and wholly BE in the complexity of any moment without needing to change anything. 

Self-care is not the commodified, Instagram-worthy version of buying a bubbly bath bomb; but it is the ritual aspect of bathing...or calling your therapist or taking time to connect with inspiring community or waking up early to write or cook for yourself or meditate or cry.

Self-care is not inherently a purchase and we might further disentangle ourselves from the corporate trickery that tries to tell us it is. 

Self-care inherently divests from capitalism
because it dismantles our desire
to compare ourselves to others.

Self-care is the reconnection to the material beauty of this world.
To the acceptance of body, of pleasure, of mud, of sweet rest. 

Self-care is fortifying our own cup so we can do the work we are here to do: the sacred, healing, collaborative work of our lives. Self-care is the maintenance of our boundaries to increase our self-awareness, to expand our compassion, to honor our sensitivities and gifts. 

How we care for ourselves is how we care for the outside world.
Separation from anything or anyone you perceive is an illusion.
Beauty abounds and propels us towards love, towards acceptance of ourselves and "others."
May we honor the beauty and complexity of our world with grateful, open hearts.

Even in this chaos, our cups overflow. 

Before you plan your summer trip/retreat...

I took an unplanned absence from my Tarot work online and I want to tell you why and offer you some hard-earned insight from my experiences.

I needed to care for myself first and without interruption.

I will explain:

I partook in a medicinal ceremony in which I learned--and healed--so much about myself beyond what I could ever verbalize or write. (I will give a more detailed account of that experience in the future; for now, I will say it is very deep work and not necessarily for everyone and I recommend preparation and research before engaging in any kind of life-changing, ceremonial medicine. I observe the utter profundity of the medicine still working on and through me and I feel deeply grateful.)

I was not expecting this experience to be so quickly and intensely transformative. My life before this experience seems like a distant memory and in a way, I had to put myself back together. What Jung calls integration.

Integration is becoming whole
or perhaps more accurately, becoming whole again
...and again.

When we do deep shadow work, the process is like any transformation:
a death,
a letting go,
a surrender of the ego must occur before renewal or insight alights us.

Ego death--or even just a shift in perspective--can put a person in a wildly receptive state. That state of heightened receptivity is where the wisdom of surrender gets in, and it can also leave one feeling raw and tender and too open to handle the pace and volume of the outside world.

In the past, I’ve made the dire mistake of embarking on life-changing work without proper psycho-emotional-spiritual support in place before I left.

And when I returned, I struggled to integrate.
Hell, I struggled to operate.

The weeks after a life-changing experience were often my lowest, most despairing points of depression and *please note* I am not only talking about heroic doses of psychedelics.

Low points can (and did) occur after my yoga-teacher training,
after traveling,
after a breathwork workshop,
because I did not know what I know now:

Integration takes time, space, strength and patience to go
on the wide-ranging psychic ride that it will inevitably take you;
after the highest-heights catharsis, the pendulum will swing the opposite way
as we return to our normative life.

So maybe, like me, you’ve embarked upon a journey of a transcendent experience and then you get home and everything is more difficult than expected.

Surprise! There is a second leg of this journey!

I hope you brought your water bottle because this is the hardest, longest slog of the whole trip, and the most important slog because it is the part in which we learn how to integrate our newfound wisdom into ourselves as we exist in our everyday life.

We bring the lessons of the healing into the everyday, careful not to compartmentalize our new insight; compartmentalization can lead to even more difficult disintegration.

The second part of this journey can happen with less suffering if the seeker preemptively prepares for the pendulum swing. Simply put, plan on needing:
more time alone, more quiet, more sleep,
reliable tools/practices for processing (like journaling, movement, creativity, meditation, soothing music, or a good listener/therapist, whatever you vibe on),
more attention and gentleness to the body (water, sleep, vibrant, supportive foods),
more unscheduled time, more walks outside.
Did I say sleep? Sleep.

Of course, we cannot always prepare for a transcendental experience. Sometimes the unexpected teacher visits in rapturous awe or blindsiding pain or a mix of both.

This is why prioritizing daily practices, even small simple ones, is mega-important.
The little ritual tools give us a foundation to return to when the mind spirals out due to overwhelm or despair.

As you make your summer plans, I hope you also plan (mentally, emotionally and practically) for the care of your newly transformed self. I hope your summer trips (psychedelic or not) are full of spiritual breakthroughs. I hope you dance under the moon, and swim in water you just met, and laugh until the tears come and you encounter the crushingly warm gratitude that comes with unapologetically feeding your soul, with all the nuance and discomfort and joy that such trips can bring.

I hope you peer into your darkest darks and lightest lights
and when you come home,
remember how to gently hold both.  

0 : The Fool

Openness to Experience, Vibrant Energy, Total Possibility, Naivety, A New Journey, Delight in Seeking, Flow of Synchronicity commonly referred to as Beginner's "Luck", Releasing Control, Embracing the Unknown, Potent Potential Energy

Maybe you've experienced this: while traveling, you find yourself near a shimmering body of water with people who will become lifelong [facebook] friends, dancing and laughing, admiring the native plants; a full moon rises to crown the experience with transcendent silvery light. Through joyful (MDMA-induced?) tears you wonder, "How did this happen? I am so lucky to live this life!"* 

One cannot plan that experience; the universe simply bestows it upon you. You trust. The Fool trusts because everything about this journey is currently unknown: the highs and the lows cannot yet be seen or imagined.

Your openness and lack of cynicism allows you to easily flow into synchronicity and discover new knowledge about yourself and about your cosmic path. No need to feel rushed, no need to accomplish, because no itinerary exists for this journey. Admire the flowers and bask in the gratitude that seems to come effortlessly.

If you often play the role of taking charge, The Fool may be asking you to stand down and allow someone else to take up responsibility. Sometimes "playing the Fool," i.e. releasing expectations and control, can be beneficial to another person's growth. It may give you (and your ego) a much needed break while allowing someone else to build their confidence and skills. Do not be agitated by your lack of influence; instead, find joy in the little things you once took for granted. 

You are beginning a journey; you do not have to know HOW it will work out, only that it WILL. You do not have to account for every possible outcome (that mindset can limit flow before it starts) but keep your wits about you, stay tapped in to your intuition, and notice the beauty of your novel situation. One foot in front of the other. Have no fear, you are safe. 

The shadow of the Fool is foolishness: the purposeful ignorance of common sense or an active disinterest in your own precariousness. Stay present. Be mindful of the ledge. Bring a jacket. Dance while on drugs, don't dive into unknown water while on drugs. 

The Fool's energy is a blessing to seekers of any kind: artists, travelers, psychonauts, philosophers, eternal students.

Go forth, young pup, expand your consciousness! Blaze a rainbow trail! The Universe smiles upon you! Stay open and stay alert. Be carefree not careless. 

*If you have yet to experience this, get yourself on a trip! Put yourself in a position to be the Fool, to be out of your comfort zone and in the unknown. 

Journal answers to any of these reflections questions that resonate with you:
What are you excited about right now? Where is your potential energy?
Are you aware of the new journey you are on?
Is there a situation that you need to see with fresh eyes?
Is there a situation from which you need to step back and "play the Fool?" Is it time to let someone else take charge? 
Are you open to your own possibility?
How do you want to expand?
Do you feel excited, vulnerable, both?
How do you hear from your intuition?
What do you hear from your intuition? 

Spring Equinox Spread to Support Your Possibly Awkward Growth

We had a new moon in Pisces on March 17 and the Spring Equinox beckons on the 21st. This is a potent time to set intentions and witness our own growth. 

Us spiritual folks loooove to talk about growth. Everything is an opportunity for growth, I hear murmured over and over again from self-assured yogis with their hands clasped in front of their flat stomachs.

Uh-huh, of course, I nod, but am I the only one feeling this damn uncomfortable?  

The axiom that everything is an opportunity for growth is absolutely true, but sometimes its flippant delivery is like one of those nice tea bags with a fortune on the tag. It's nice and now it's going in my compost because a happily chirped maxim cannot contain the realness of my feelings right now.  

Growth: augmentation, sprouting, stretching, heightening,
evolution, enlargement, extension, expansion, expression...

I hope you rested this winter because that. shit. takes. energy...and surrender.

Growth can be a beautiful blossoming, but prior to the sweet release of flowering, our movement may be frustrating, awkward, unwieldy. In the process of becoming something new, we must be willing to look inexperienced, to look like a fool, to experiment, to push out on our own container with sustained effort.

In my experience, the longer or more potent the discomfort, the more profound the effect. 
Enter magic.
Transformation inevitably calls to the depths of our desire.

We purposefully change because we consciously desire to do so
-or-
the great unknown creates a circumstance in which we seemingly have no choice but to change; 
though momentarily unconscious of it, the soul desires--and answers to--its true nature.

See it through, babe. You are almost there.

Find a moment to reflect.
Here is a 3-card spread as you set intentions for this new season:

I like to pull one card at a time, reflecting on the question and the card
before moving to the next one. 

Card 1: What do I need to release?
When you identify the energy that needs release, thank the energy for its time and for its lessons. There is no wrongness, no shame, no blame.
Thank yourself for the willingness to shed skin. 

Card 2: What am I healing in this moment?
I am healing my relationship with...
What does your healed relationship look like?
What are you like on the other side of this transformation?
How do you feel, act, and think in your new embodiment? 

Card 3: What do I need to call in?
You are powerful beyond what you imagine and any aid you need will surely arrive at the right time. If this card seems puzzling, let it simmer and remain curious. It will surely become clear as life unfolds.
 

Temper your discomfort with extra care:
season changes are the most important times to
eat well, sleep well, breathe well and tune into the body.
Connect with your BFFs who support your spiritual growth.

Create a container for yourself in which to honor your own sea changes,
even if that means saying no to screens, to social engagements, to demanding schedules. 

What you are stretching towards, you already are it.
Happy flowering.  

MARCH MONTHLY MEDICINE : Trust the Process

Seven of Swords + Ace of Cups + Three of Cups

Last night's full moon sets the tone to reset. The Seven of Swords asks you to get honest about your work. The work. The work that moves you, the work that the world desperately needs. Maybe this work is your book, a gardening method, a workshop, nursing, or an app. This work is bubbling in you, effervescent with potent experience and insight. Why do you sneak off from your tribe with your sharpest ideas? Are you purposefully obscuring your shine

The Seven of Swords suggests a fear about showing your creations. It is much easier to stay cloaked, to never share yourself, and thereby never be subject to criticism or feedback. Your ideas can stay safe in its baby form, tucked safely under your arm as you sneak off to comfort.

But let’s get real: do you want
your work,
your ideas,
your thoughts to grow?
It needs the light of day as much as your people need your insight.

The Ace of Cups brings a spiritual reset to this struggle. The feeling after a good, long cry. Exhaustion. Bleariness. Sweet release.

Let it flow.
Trust the process. 

The struggle is over and attachments to the pain finally drop away. The Ace of Cups ushers in a wave of peace that naturally follows catharsis. It’s like a dirty cup held under a waterfall. The strength of the water’s movement clears anything stuck inside; let this Piscean dream season wash away your fears of being seen. 

Your hand holds the Ace of Cups. What will do with your newly cleared spirit space? Your cup is blank and you can consciously create what fills it; use your refreshment to garner yourself for more beautiful lessons to come in the realm of your hidden work.

The Three of Cups is a celebration of your newfound emotional clarity as we move into the fire of Aries and the joyous expansion of Spring.

Surround yourself with the sisters and brothers
who allow you to change and grow,
who honor your spiritual autonomy,
who know you beyond your internet persona.

Call in the trusted friends who encourage you
and celebrate with you,
who can keep you in check when your fear runs wild,
who call you back to your Truth.

As you explore the depths of your process, remember that your spiritual/creative/emotional growth does not have to look a certain way; it does not have to be perfectly cohesive, nor perfectly presentable, nor perfectly conformed with any particular political correctness du jour. Birthing something new is messy.

Your truth exists beyond your identifiers.
Like a waterfall in a cup, your power cannot be contained.

xoxo, Elise

FEBRUARY MONTHLY MEDICINE : BECOMING

Ten of Cups + Eight of Cups + Queen of Swords

February’s spread asks where you to reflect on your process of BECOMING.

Becoming : to begin to be.

“To begin to be” brings back a scene: I am 12ish, and I am [finally...gah, mother!] allowed to wear makeup out of the house. It’s the 90’s, so I put on my choker necklace, pull my bangs down to frame either side of my face and unironically glaze my lips in a blue-iridescent lip gloss. This. is. not. a. costume.

I breathe in and look, somewhat pleased, at my reflection. I am the closest I can be in my pubescent mind to utter sophistication and worldliness. I move my face from side to side in the mirror and think “THIS. This is me now.” In a matter of minutes, I simply became a person who wears makeup.

Of course, my own self-expression through adornment took many twists and turns through the next two decades (and don’t we brown girls have some extra turns to work through?) but that first moment is particular: it beckons from you courage to try something new, to leave an old skin of yourself behind, to step fresh into a new way of existing in the world.

It may garner attention or misunderstanding. Your little brother insists loudly you look like an alien. Or perhaps it is an interior expansion, hidden under your normal days, stretching into discomfort, into an awkwardness of not knowing exactly how to do it.  How do women live life without getting makeup on everything, you wonder, noticing blue on the sleeve of your hoodie.

This is a scene of beginning to be something new. You may as well settle into the discomfort of not knowing, because this month you are embodying a new, previously unimagined form. The Ten of Cups is the end of a cycle; you may not notice this end as it is harmonious and full, a springboard from which to grow. The Eight of Cups insists that you cannot stay in the same comfy place. You must turn towards a call, toward the journey into deeper understanding of yourself and your purpose.

It may not be easy to embark on this journey, as the Eight of Cups suggests that you may have worked hard for this current state of ease; maybe you are finally comfortable. Moving toward new growth from a state of acceptance and harmony is the best time to go forth into uncharted depths. When one expands from a wellspring of curiosity rather than escape, the upturned ground is fertile for deep inspiration and abundant, rich growth. This call comes in sync with the full blue blood moon in Leo at the end of last month, which may have brought to light your sacred work which is both deeply inspirational to you and from a heart of service to the collective.  

The Queen of Swords encourages a reconnection with what you hold as your highest Truth. She can be a prickly presence to encounter in a reading if you struggle with boundaries. She asks, what is unnecessary? Cut it out. What derails your focus, your precious time, your limited energy? She is ruthless in her quest to clear out any weeds that threaten her discretion with confusion or apathy. She knows how to maintain her space, her time, her clarity of vision.

In a collective time when healing is so desperately needed, The Queen of Swords knows our own wholeness is power; she shows us what Queens inherently know: your healing and your maintenance come first. Caring for yourself unapologetically is the only way to effectively care for others.

As you step away from the cozy familiar, away from that which you once celebrated, into something new, remember that you are like a new plant, unfurling. New growth requires a tenacious will and strengthened boundaries from that which can choke out a sweet new tendril. You may be uncomfortable as you begin to be the new You: more powerful and confident, more deeply connected to your Path.

Grow on, babes. You got this. Your lip gloss is POPPIN'.

Tarot as a Ritual Tool for Transformation